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days like this

There was a gust, once
on a dark and lovely day
and I felt like finally, finally it’s over
finally I can rest
finally think
finally breathe.

I felt myself gearing up to take a breath
(a real one this time,
breathing in the feeling of
finally being safe)
and I put all my hope into it
and it put all it had into me.

We had only just started
and maybe I took too much, too fast
or maybe it gave me more than it had
but either way, that gust has gone, and it
must have tried but it
must have failed
because now
the sun is everywhere and I can’t hide.

Days like this make it hard to believe in autumn.