No Shortage of Toast

Now listen up, because I’m only going to say this once.

Thank you.

Thank you for being a complete and utter disappointment in every possible sense of the word. To disappoint is to fail to meet the expectation or hope of; to dissatisfy; to let down. And you have done all of these things repeatedly, marvelously.

Thank you, just this once, for being a let-down. For not following through, just like you never do. Out of all of the times that you have disappointed me (and there are far too many to count), this is the one I am thankful for.

Now, this surely doesn’t mean that I’m happy with myself for giving you another chance to fall short of my expectations. I, stubborn optimist that I can be, thought that perhaps this time it would be different. What a silly thing for me to think. After all, people rarely prove themselves to be anything more than they are. So I would like to thank you for being who you are, for being all of the things I do not need, and for not even giving me the chance to convince myself that maybe I might need them this time around. Because I don’t, and I never will.

You’ve taught me that sometimes, with some people, you have to stop expecting the best, especially when their track record suggests you do just the opposite. And where you are concerned, there has always been an abundance of unmet expectations, a long list of reasons to forget about you that I have a tendency to conveniently misplace.

Choices can be dangerous, especially in a slippery mind, and I admit that I made a bad one. But luckily, because of your knack for disappointing, nothing bad came of it. Next time – and there will be a next time because we are, after all, creatures of habit – I will remember how good it felt to not allow myself the opportunity to waste a mistake on you, no matter how tempting it may be.

It’s kind of like a burnt piece of toast that you want so badly to eat – because you’re hungry, because it’s there – but you know it won’t be worth it. Especially when there are copious slices of bread that could make for perfectly good toast, if you only throw out the burnt one and start anew. Well, this is me throwing away my burnt toast. Because I believe that I can have my toast and eat it too, and not regret a single bite.

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